I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
