I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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