the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
