Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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