he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
