doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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