you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
