He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
