yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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