Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
