do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Pooping to opera.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
