OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
