would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
