your thong is hanging out like whoa
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
