Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
