Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize