Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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