Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize