so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
