I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
