how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
