Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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