I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
