My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
