She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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