Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
