well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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