one two three fourrrrnication!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Boobs speak an international language.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
