ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
