I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
