Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
