he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
