Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
