I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
A+ Viking dick
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
