I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Boobs speak an international language.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
