Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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