Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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