So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He felt like a one man threesome
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
