it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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