I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
