My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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