You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Are we still banned from the library?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
