you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So vagazzling was a success
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
