kristin has been a bad kristin
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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