take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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