i will never coherently bang her
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
