i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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