We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
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