You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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