So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
