finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
