They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
