About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
