i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
