O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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