Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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