all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
