i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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