My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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