Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
