so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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