After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
